{"id":335,"date":"2021-05-29T07:12:03","date_gmt":"2021-05-29T02:12:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/?p=335"},"modified":"2021-05-29T07:12:03","modified_gmt":"2021-05-29T02:12:03","slug":"this-is-what-i-said-that-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/2021\/05\/29\/this-is-what-i-said-that-time\/","title":{"rendered":"A hospice exchange."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Over time my experiences have been shifting from young children in schools to elderly in hospice care. It remains as true as it ever was that I am very much learning how to listen, what to say and why. A conversation happened recently though that I thought I would write out in the hopes that it may nurture creative solutions with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was visiting a woman whose diagnosis I do not know (it doesn’t really matter). When I arrived, she was asleep and since she is very hard of hearing, I anticipated that she would rest soundly. Instead of trying to talk with her, I sat down to write her a note. This was the first time she was wearing her hearing aids when I came by and maybe because of that or maybe it was just coincidence, but she woke up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her facial expression was confused and worried. She said, ‘I don’t have any money.<\/em>” Before I could respond, she said more in a rush — much of it a jumble of sounds rather than distinct words. In the mix, I understood, “so sad<\/em>,” and “but my leg is tangled<\/em>.”<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what I said in response:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
My goal is to say my name every time because it is not relevant whether or not it is remembered.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I held up my i.d. badge (which also has my photo), and pointed to my name while I said it. Then I showed her a card on which I had written, “I am so glad to visit with you.”<\/strong> <\/span> That’s something I have expressed (spoken and with this card) every time I have come. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next I wrote, “Your leg is tangled?” I pointed at each word and read it to her twice. I showed her a card that said, “Do you have pain?”<\/strong><\/span> She nodded and gestured to her right leg under a blanket. The blanket was not twisted though, and nothing about her leg or foot appeared out of the ordinary (no discoloration, no swelling). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I wrote, “Would you like your bed more up or more down?” She said yes, talked me through how to use the gizmo, and reported that it was better. I sat back down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, “I’m sorry.<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wrote and spoke, “I would like to ease your mind.<\/span><\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, “Oh, thank you<\/em>.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything about her relaxed — her face, her posture, how she held her blanket. She lay back, and was asleep again before I wrote anything else. I sat with her awhile longer in case she roused again, but her breathing was regular and calm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was she having a difficult dream? Disoriented from circumstance? Within one of the phases of dying<\/a>? Maybe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In turning it over in my mind, I feel like the conversation unfolded with statements and questions that were responsive to her even without understanding. That made them helpful to me also. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still learning, how to listen, what to say, and why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[End blip].<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Over time my experiences have been shifting from young children in schools to elderly in hospice care. It remains as true as it ever was that I am very much learning how to listen, what to say and why. A conversation happened recently though that I thought I would write out in the hopes that … Continue reading A hospice exchange.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":339,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,6],"tags":[28,36],"class_list":["post-335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-conversations","category-grief","category-hospice-experience","tag-hospice","tag-multimodalcommunication"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=335"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jessicacurrall.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}